Expat Diary: Culture Coaching Session with a French Native

Bonjour!

LA VIE: I had a funny conversation with the self-designated “life in France” coach today. I met her in a French immersion class. I won’t use her name at this time… her opinions about people’s attitudes are the focus of this post. She revered the American adaptive mindset as “an absence of color.”

Here's a summary!

We were discussing French vs. American stereotypes. In the same session, I wanted to practice my A1 French as a way to ensure I conveyed the proper intentions of my opinions. My French coach asked me to describe my initial impressions since moving to France. I shared the usual ones:

• Learning (for me re-learning) a language later in life is a lot of work

• The American expat stereotypes are interesting (example: all Americans are rich - SO NOT TRUE!)

• The French are inherently not friendly because it isn’t their culture to be overtly appeasing with strangers.

My coach’s perception on this as follows (translated into American English):

“So you portray your image with finesse without realizing the image your audience interprets it to be; not what your image-for-hire team (she is referring to PR/branding when she says “image for hire) wants it to be. Rising above the dedicated egos of those who just want to make money, you focus your attitude on cultivating a style you claim is your own. Yet, it is not. Style is more than a brand or a perception. It is a personality. It is not even worth mentioning what it isn't. Why focus on what is considered good today; yet boring tomorrow? You are always a fading facade. A facade that tries to capture what is not real. It could be the glasses, the hair, the shoes, and of course... the clothes. When will you get it through your head? You are fading from black to white.

White... the absence of color. The void, invisible, and the white light people shield their eyes from. What is funny is you are not able to see it because you have faded completely into a look and feel that is transparent. The richness of your sound [voice], the movements in your walk, the presence of being in total darkness... it was alluring. Now, it is so without color that many people look past you without flinching.”  

…interesting view

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